Another good day.

Another good day under my belt.  Unfortunately, it will probably not last.  My husband, who normally works on the road, will be home this weekend for 4 days.  Which should make me happy and less anxious, right?  Wrong.  When he is home is the most stressful times for me because we just don't communicate well.  He is passive aggressive and always angry that the house isn't spotless.

Guess what?  We have six children.  I homeschool five of them.  The house isn't going to be spotless for another ten years.  Get over it.  The house is sanitary.  It isn't dirty.  There is just a lot of stuff.  Because we have a lot of people living here.  Ugh.  I can feel my anxiety level raising already and he isn't even here yet.

And he doesn't believe in depression or bipolar disorder or any kind of brain chemistry disorder.  He thinks I am being dramatic.  When I have tried to talk to him about being suicidal, he tells me that people who are truly suicidal don't talk about it.  They just do it.

Four days.  God help me.